How To Gracefully Turn Someone Down On An Online Dating Site

Ok, let’s face it – online dating is far more efficient and versatile than traditional dating, however both types of meeting new and exciting people have one negative thing in common – rejection.

We have always been approaching the rejection problem from the receiving end (how to cope with it once you are rejected by your online crush), but now we want to take a closer look at the issue and approach it from the other side.

Dealing with rejection is hard, but telling someone “no” is a whole other story and we think these 3 simple pieces of advice might help.
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1. Always Be Honest, Direct And Do It Quickly

Turning someone down is never pleasant, but being honest and direct is always the best policy when you want to keep people from getting hurt.

Too often people wait too long to do this and are only dragging things on. This is never a good idea and you are only make things worse. It will be that much harder to say no when the inevitable comes.

It is ok not to feel the connection with someone.

Also, don’t agree to a date just out of pity. You will only end up wasting time, both yours and hers/his, and the other person will simply get more hurt in the process.

Never make up lies. Honesty is indeed the best policy here.

2. Treat Others The Way You Would Want to Be Treated

Empathy is crucial. A harsh and direct rejection can be quite a slap in the face, especially if it isn’t delivered tactfully.

The trick is to always treat people the way you would want to be treated and try to apply this golden rule to, well – any kind of communication.

If you don’t like the person trying to woo you, there’s no reason to be a jerk to them or act like you’re disgusted. Being asked out should always be flattering, but if the feeling is not mutual, be polite anyway and turn them down gently.

Say “I’m flattered, but…” and then explain why you are not interested. Remember, it takes a lot of courage to ask someone out, so showing some appreciation is always a good idea.

3. Make Sure The Person Truly Understands You Are Not Interested

Always make sure things are clear and final after you’ve turned someone down. Do it nicely, however make sure they know it’s never going to happen.

Keeping people on the hook is a big no-no.

If you are honestly not interested and you don’t think that person will ever be the one for you, never say things like:

  • Not now, but maybe in the near future…
  • Let’s be friends.
  • Why don’t we get to know each other first?

This is not a fair thing to do and you are only, yet again, prolonging the inevitable.